Bad Bottle of Wine....

Maybe this is a circular type of thing... you know what I mean? You are 17, have $3.50 and that really bad wine is all you can get. What do you do? Of course you buy it. What happens? No surprises... a bungling long night of babbling and drunk dialing; back in the late 80's. So now that we are crawling up in the years... late 30's and all. You're walking down the aisle and Woo! $3.50 BAD WINE! Zounds, now, I don't make alot of money but... alright, I purchased it. Tisdale is the name of this fine purchase. Get it home and Stacy says, "Did you not learn from the last cheapo bottle you purchased?" Well you can guess that answer! Nope, dear wife of 14 years. In no certain way have I!
So what to do with this. I go through the thoughts of how cheap am I? I can afford better. Is it pride? Nope, lost that years ago! Is it sheer stubborness? Yup that's the one. Let's face it. After consuming fine beverages for many years on this planet I should most definitely better. Smuggling a bottle of fun into the nightclubs and concerts, one would think I know better by now. So what to do? I know, let's dress it up in that fancy wine glass!
Oops, forgot one minor step. Must open the bottle. After some time jamming the corkscrew into the flimsy cork and tugging and jerking,(This is where you stop laughing at the innuendo!) the damn thing opened. Now for the primary sniffing of the vino. Yup, pretty much what you would expect. Aboslutely no aroma, at least not the skunk shit smell one would expect. So last on the list? The tasting.
Down into the fancy glass it went. Not very smoothe in it's pour at all. If you crossed a merlot with soup broth you have a pretty good idea. Stacy calls out to me "Are you serious?" Yes dear I am. I take the first sip and realize something. Good God my wife is right again!!! Will I give her the satisfaction of knowing. NO! Not outright at least. Well, perhaps a good smoke will do the trick! Outside we go as I do not smoke in the house and lug the little glass with me. The cigarette tastes as always. Here goes the wine! Holy SHIT! It is potentially more rancid. This is the type of stuff Mr. Radiohead guy probably drinks before a concert! It's enough to make me wine uncontrollably for hours as well.
So I decide to keep with not letting Stacy know this wine is horrible and I throw it out into a snowbank. Yup, good work Len! Looks like some wino vomited on the side of my driveway. Get the snow shovel and cover it up! Yeah that will work. Nope, the shit just continues to consume the snow. I wish I could say I was making this up but this part is for real. Well, at least it will keep my neighbors curious.
So here it is Sunday night and that bottle is still pretty full. Do I dare touch the stuff, who knows yet?